4 month, 2 weeks and the year is 80% gone
I haven’t wrote new creative material for months. It makes me sad to realize that. What have I been doing with my spare time? I called my parents an hour ago and they nagged at me because I haven’t called home for weeks. Is my time consumed with Netflix and watching TV? If so, that is really sad. I need to take a step back to think about what I’ve been doing with my time lately. Have I given up on this whole creative aspect? Where is that drive? I thought living in the city of lights was going to start a fire under me… This is my bad. Something has to change.
I was clearing out my desk morning and flipped through a journal my best friend bought me for Christmas. On the first page it had a list of written New Year’s Resolutions. I read down the list and checked the box “fail” mentally in my head for most of the items. Where has this year gone? Why has it been so hard for me to meet expectations I’ve created for myself. Perhaps I’m just too ambitious. I am part of generation Y after all.
I tend to go through this cycle 3-4 times a year. I start off really ambitious and outline a plan. I stick with the plan for a good 2 to 3 months and then I find an excuse to stop following the plan. “Oh, I’m traveling.” “Work has been so crazy.” “Family is visiting.” “I’m not seeing any change so I’m going to stop.” Enough. I’m giving myself 6 months to complete my plan this time. And when that 180th day rolls around, I’m going to take a hard look at myself. Did I change? Did I accomplish what I needed to? Did I get what I want?
I came across this quote that changed my perspective about routines. “It takes 4 weeks for you to notice. It takes 8 weeks for your family and friends to notice. And it takes 12 weeks for the rest of the world to notice.” Since I’m prone to failure, I decided to double the timeline.
I like to think that we had it all
We drew a map to a better place
But on that road I took a fall
Oh, why did you run away?
I wonder where were you
When I was at my worst
And you said you had my back
So I wonder where were you